Searching For The “Perfect” Ideal

This reminds me of how many times I had to tell a drummer his nose is perfect from every angle, and make sure a guitarist knows his hands are not too big.
It reminds me of how many times I had to comfort a musician who was going to change in front of me that his chest looks perfect and his muscle definition is beautiful.
The nervous laughter always follows by “how do I hold the guitar?”, and my response always is: “how do you normally hold it? Don’t think too much…”

A dear friend of mine who happens to be a very attractive, very fit and highly talented drummer never misses a chance to squeeze in an extra hour of exercise everyday. In fact, weightlifting has become a fundamental part of his life to a point that he doesn’t do anything else but work and go to the gym. He’s not a tall guy and that has always been a big insecurity, and something he cannot change. What he does have control over however, is maintaining his 8-pack abs.

When we talk about body image, we usually think of it as women’s issue. But from my personal experience photographing people for years, women are not the only ones with body insecurities.
In fact, I strongly believe that men are actually under a lot more pressure to look a certain way because of what is expected from them.
Men are supposed to be these mythological, physically strong creatures that can lift us up with their big muscular arms and leap over buildings. Physical strength is an important component of “manhood”, yet a strong character is usually a secondary pursuit.
If you do a little research in the core of masculinity, it’ll give you a theoretical understanding of the role of strength in the ancient, universal code of “manhood”. But what makes a man, is much more than height and muscle definition.

The cliché romantic idea of the knight in shining armor always involves a very tall, very masculine man, never a short, skinny guy with glasses. But can you imagine living in a world where everyone looks like the definition of “perfect”?

As someone who deals with people’s face & bodies for a living, I can say that the things you consider imperfect are the ones that make you great, and dare I say; perfect.
After every photoshoot I am often asked “do I really look like that?”! And yes, you really do look like that.
You’re strong. You’re handsome. You kick fucking ass. You’re the only you that exists in this world.
Have sex with the lights on.


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